Chapter Eleven --- "Beef Cow in Trouble"

Terms used in this chapter:

“Beef Cow” … Cows that are raised for meat production, not milk.

“Freshen”  …..  Term used when a cow gives birth to a calf.  “She freshened.”

It was early afternoon on a summer day, and I busied myself doing chores at the dairy barn.  I heard a vehicle coming in the driveway, and peered out the door as Matt pulled up to the barn in his trusty Jeep truck.  Sitting at attention in the passenger’s seat was his herding dog, Buster. Like always, Buster sat erect, watching intently out through the windshield of the truck, obviously taking his copilot job very seriously.  But then, Buster took everything seriously.  He was, after all, a working dog. The two of them got out and walked quickly over to me.

“Hey Dave, can you come give me a hand?   One of my beef cows has a calf stuck.  She’s been trying to freshen for nearly two days now.”

“Sure! Let’s go,” I answered.

We hopped into the truck and Buster reluctantly gave up his position to the imposter.  I didn’t know what the dog thought of me, but he appeared to be a little disgruntled by my presence. “It’s okay, Buster.” I reassured him. “I can’t replace you.”

Matt continued telling me about the cow.  “ I could see she was in trouble by the way she’s been standing and straining with her tail straight out.  It’s been too long, but I couldn’t catch her.   She’d run away every time I tried to get near her.  She’s plum tuckered out now, and finally she laid down.”

We drove quickly up to the other farm location where the miserable cow was stretched out on the ground – not too far from the road.  It was already a hot day, and the sun, almost directly overhead, promised to turn it into a scorcher.  We hopped the fence and walked over to the cow.  It was obvious that she was done in, and would die right there if we didn’t get the calf out soon.  We knelt down behind her for a closer look, and the poor creature acted like she didn’t know or care that we were there.

“Do you see what I see?” asked Matt.

I looked closer, and sure enough, it was a bad presentation.  The calf was trying to enter the world backwards. Normally, they’re born head-first, with the front feet coming out before anything else.  Even then, some calves are so large that help is needed.  In this case the rump was trying to come out first, which meant that the hind legs were aimed forwards.  It was impossible to be born like that, and unless we could get those legs turned around to the back, the game was over.

“Whew!” I couldn’t help exclaiming.  “She stinks!”

“Yeah, the calf is dead, but we still gotta pull it.”

“Did you bring gloves?”  The thought of reaching in there barehanded turned my stomach  a little, and I had to ask.

Matt gave me a disgusted look.  “Shucks!  I forgot.  Well, Bubby (my nickname), we gotta get to it – with or without the gloves.”

The gloves I had in mind were the clear plastic, shoulder-length gloves we used for artificial insemination.  They would have been perfect for this job too.  But oh well, sometimes on the farm you just do what you have to do.

“Okay Dave, here’s what we’re gonna do.  I’ll use my right arm and you use your left arm.

We’ll push on the calf’s rump until we get it back in a ways.  Then you’re gonna try to hold it there while I reach in deep and bring the feet around.  It should work.”

Well I for one certainly hoped so.

We didn’t feel like getting our shirts messy and smelly, so we stripped them off and got down on the ground, shoulder to shoulder. We reached forward and began pushing on the little hairy rump, but the calf wouldn’t budge.  We dug in and pushed harder, straining with all our might, and the calf moved forward slightly.  The poor cow gave a pained groan at this turn of events, and started pushing back.   And the calf moved right back to where it started.

“Matt,” I asked dejectedly.  “Do you really think it’s gonna work?”

“Course it’ll work.  We gotta get it out!”

Matt of course, had vested interest in the procedure.  He didn’t want to lose a good cow.    

“Push!” roared Matt - startling me!

“I am,” I grunted through clenched teeth.  My aching arm begged for mercy, and the sweat began trickling into my eyes.

“Push harder!”

“I can’t!”

We strained with everything we had, and the calf started moving.  The cow’s rear end – only a few inches away from our noses - reeked with an overpowering odor.  I felt sorry for her.  She didn’t understand what was happening.  She only knew how unbearably miserable she was.

I pushed until I thought my veins would pop.  I figured Matt might be in same condition, so I twisted my head around and stole a look.  His beet-red face was contorted into a desperate grimace, his eyes bulged dangerously, and the veins on his forehead were popping out and pulsating with every heartbeat.  It seemed that his head might just fly apart at any second. The sight was too much, and I felt the strength leave my body as I gave way to a great gasp of laughter.

“Matt!  Your head’s gonna explode!”  

He jerked his face around in my direction and glared at me.  But the glare turned into a peal of laughter, “Stop laughing and push!”

So we gathered ourselves and once more gave it all we had, and the calf moved forward again – this time a little further than before.

“Now hold it right there!”  Matt’s voice was strained as he dropped down to his side and reached in past the rump and began feeling for the feet.  I dug in and tried mightily to hold the calf in position, but the cow pushed too, and I could feel the calf begin to move back towards me a little.

“I can’t hold it,” I groaned loudly.

“And I can’t reach the daggone feet.  Ow! She’s pinching my wrist!”  Matt’s arm was caught between the calf and cow’s pelvic bone, and all he could do was moan until she let up from straining against us.  Finally she relaxed and let us have another go at it.  We were almost surprised when the calf moved farther ahead this time.

“Okay Bubby, this is it.”  Matt reached once more for the feet – this time announcing his success. “I got em!”

Slowly he began pulling them around, being careful to not tear the uterus wall.  “Give me just a little more shove Dave, and we’ll have it.”

And it worked.  With Matt pulling and me pushing, the stubborn little critter’s hind feet made their appearance.  It only took a couple more good tugs, and the dead calf lay on the ground behind its mother.  It was a sorry sight – the little lifeless body, and the exhausted cow.

Thankful that it was over, we ran our stinking bodies to the water trough, unhooked the hose, and washed the awful stench from our arms and bodies.  Thank God for clean water! We turned and looked then to see the cow staggering to her feet, and thought it was best to let her get to the trough.  She had to be dying of thirst.  We moved away as she made her way over and stood there drinking slowly for a long time.  She would make it, and it was a good feeling knowing that we had saved her life.